Robin Buss
Elmer Olsen's Robin Buss

Robin Buss

May 24th, 2010


Does the caterpillar's back go numb from waiting in it's cocoon? Does the blood rush to its head? Does it wonder whether it should pee now or pee later? I imagine as caterpillars face transformation they turn over any fear to a higher power, look into the dark and dive right in. I on the other hand am on the bus and can't stop thinking about my sore back, can't release my mind's focus from 'to have another sip of water or not to have another sip of water' and as much as I keep trying to turn my life over to the universe, I sit now and wait to arrive, struggling with faith, control and fear over my destiny.

My name is Robin and this is my life.

It all seems so big and insurmountable at times. As a caterpillar I crawl on my belly looking at the world through narrow vision. Inwardly I wrap myself in what I know to be true in my dreams and attempt magic, transformation, or at least, transition. Every day there are moments where I push beyond the boundaries of where I was, inhabiting a little more of the territory I wish to exist in. But change is hard. Even small change can hurt if you're attached to the past.

I used to be attached to so many things. Things that reminded me of times and places and people I thought I wanted to remember just like that. But there's not enough room in the cocoon so I leave a lot behind in order to move forward. Does the butterfly remember life on the ground or only see the sky?

If I fly, I hope to never forget my time on the ground. Frequently crawling all the way from Toronto to NY and back on a packed double-decker bus is a hustle I am proud to participate in. It takes my dreams from the very highest peaks of my imagination and places them before me, where I can taste it. As I attempt to take a big bite out of the Big Apple I will taste the fruit of my labor or bite the dust. It's make or break time and I am determined not to be broken.

I booked my first hair campaign in NY and have the cut and highlights to prove it! It was so exciting, after years of having the same long, uncolored hair to get a refreshing 6 inches taken off and enough highlights to look like my Swedish Grandparents more than ever. This is a job to celebrate and a landmark assuring me that this is my path. My Dad said to me "You look like a real model now" and I feel like one. Even though I often question, worry and doubt where on earth this path is taking me, I follow, trusting in the magic of the universe to transform me along the way.

I know I can do this. I can begin to pull back the lining of my cocoon, a pinhole of light to a world I thought I knew, and am realizing I can discover over and over again.

The universe wants us to be happy. So no matter how bumpy the ride is or how long it takes to get there, stay on course. Don't be scared of the dark because that's where dreams are made, and in our dreams we can fly.

Robin Buss is an Elmer Olsen model.


Blogs We Follow

Dana Drori (BlackBook blog)

Cailin Hill (The Model Burnbook)

Liis Windischmann's (14+ LouLou blog)

Ania Boniecka (A n i a . B)

Kyla Love (thevulgareye)

Laura Kell (Glamazoned)

Jasmine Foster (A Model Student)

Nadine McAdam (fearlesslyfloating)

Madison Schill (Chic Greek Geek)

Britt Schafer (Quiddity)

Shawn Dezan (motivated//ambition)

Kelly Bean (Bean Around The World)