April 13, 2021
The last time I wrote, I shared something very personal with the world, and it made me acutely aware just how important it is to remember to feel good about yourself. Now that I have admitted to myself and to you my fears of rejection and failure, I can be more honest with myself about who I am and what I do.
Does admitting my weaknesses actually give me strength? It seems like it. I can draw power from the fact that I know who I am. There are too many forces for a model not to feel pulled in all directions. You must stay true to yourself if you want to rise up and succeed amid the entropy of the fashion industry.
Looking at the the places in your life where you find happiness, and then pursuing those aspirations can really help to get you back on track with what is important. Having fun, learning from my experiences and working with creative, caring and engaging people is what I like to pursue. So that is what I will focus on. I know that not every shoot or show or job is going to be perfect, but with the right outlook, I think can get the most out of every situation.
I received an email responding to my last blog that I was really glad to read - it confirmed that I am not alone. That was very reassuring, to be reminded that there are times in everyone's life where we poke and prod at ourselves under a harsh light. It seems to be part of the growing process. This is part of what another model had to say on the topic:
What's startling, is to what little extent how one feels about oneself, and how one actually looks, are related. Sometimes the closer a person is to that ideal image, the further they feel.
I can totally resonate with this. After months of exercise, observing a healthy diet and a lifetime of polishing my skills, why is it that I feel inadequate? To some, the answer just might be pressures from the media, or the industry itself:
My question then, is how do you reconcile yourself, knowing that your work might contribute to some of these unrealistic standards?
Good question! I try to walk the path of balance. A wise man once told me "everything in moderation." Right now I thrive between a jet-setting, talented
glamathon, and joking, goofy, rockin' Robin. As a person I recognize that I am multifaceted and am capable of being dexterous. I am learning how to trust in that current of strength, that thin line between magic and mayhem. I trust that the individual I am growing up to be is very much good enough.
Somehow [modelling] does feel like the right thing to do, and I follow those feelings - of being accepted, without completely fitting in.
After all... everyone seems to *know* they don't need to follow those standards... but it's difficult to actually *believe*, isn't it?
I have to get back to the kitchen; the role I'm playing out tonight is an observant girlfriend at the Seder table. Tonight is the second night of Passover (Hechsameya...?) and I'm really looking forward to the celebration of freedom. Now that spring is like an ice-cube melting into summer, I happily shed my stiff winter garments of doubt for the sundress of freedom to believe in my true self.
Robin Buss (B&M Models) is a 19-year-old who recently travelled to Hong Kong to start her international career. The 176 cm (5'9") model was in Asia for the first time in her life and shared her experience with modelresource readers. Those stories can be found here.